So two days ago was my Xanga birthday. Yeah, I always miss it by a few days. I wanted to make a huge epic post about it. But honestly right now I feel my time on Xanga is up. I didnt have any people to talk to because all I found were drama laden girls. Now I am embracing the fact that I am 18 and I am finding people who I can talk to. Real people who arent all about the drama! I used to just be able to find girls who were just stupid and immature, and I avoided friendships with guys because I had some experiences with them ended up 'liking me' *rolls eyes*. I hope that we are beyond that for now!!
Anyway to me this blog is finished. If you want to stay in touch [which a lot of you probably dont REALLY want to] you can message me and let me know.
The following song always confused me. But I think it is starting to make sense now. Kind of like what Little Women did, made more sense as I grew up......I love you all, and in fact if you are still on my friends list it is because I still care about you. I'll still come comment on your stuff but I wont be posting anymore.
When I Go Down by Relient K
I'll tell you flat out
It hurts so much to think of this
So from my thoughts I will exclude
The very thing that
I hate more than everything is
The way I'm powerless
To dictate my own moods
I've thrown away
So many things that could've been much more
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works
When I go down
I go down hard
And I take everything I've learned
And teach myself some disregard
When I go down
It hurts to hit the bottom
And of the things that got me there
I think, if only I had fought them
If and when I can
Clear myself of this clouded mind
I'll watch myself settle down
Into a place where
Peace can search me out and find
That I'm so ready to be found
I've thrown away
The hope I had in friendships
I've thrown away
So many things that could have been much more
I've thrown away
The secret to find an end to this
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works
Any control I thought I had just slips right through my hands
While my ever-present conscience shakes its head and reprimands me
Reprimands me
Then and there
I confess
I'll blame all this on my selfishness
Yet you love me
And that consumes me
And I'll stand up again
And do so willingly
You give me hope, and hope it gives me life
You touch my heavy heart, and when you do you make it light
As I exhale I hear your voice
And I answer you, though I hardly make a noise
And from my lips the words I choose to say
Seem pathetic, but it's fallen man's praise
Because I love you
Oh God, I love you
And life is now worth living
If only because of you
And when they say that I'm dead and gone
It won't be further from the truth
When I go down
I lift my eyes to you
I won't look very far
Cause you'll be there
With open arms
To lift me up again
To lift me up again
I made a new blog on wordpress.....ask and ye shall receive
EDIT: Another song I am digging for the lyrics is Someday by the Afters. But I dont want to post it and make this too super uber long.
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